I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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