I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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