I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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