yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
