so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
