you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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