We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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