Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize