ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
