I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
