brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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