Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
