i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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