Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
