Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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