Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
