..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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