Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
