Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
