In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
