xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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