Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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