So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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