i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
