do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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