end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
