1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
