Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
