Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
