Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
