Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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