Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
