why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
