hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
