almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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