i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
