how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
