I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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