i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
