Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
