a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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