I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
