so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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