So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
