I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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