At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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