I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
