Sponge bath it is.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
