okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
