under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
