I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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