He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I stole a fireplace last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
