Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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