Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
