I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
