Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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