You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Umm I'm too high to move.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That accounts for only three of the penises
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
