My first STD was from a foam party
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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