Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize