We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
