Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
