I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
