Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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