Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize