do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
