I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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